Calling All Women
The Challenge: Have as many women as I can interpret what I meant by "Spending ever day looking for new ways to reinvent our relationship." Please leave your comments so that I know I wasn't speaking a foreign language with my spouse. Men, feel free to comment as well! I'm sure you will anyways.
Conversation with hubby:
Me: I have a New Years Resolution that I think would be fun for us, do you want to hear it?
Man: Sure
Me: I think every day we should look for new ways to reinvent our relationship?
Man: What do you mean?
Me: I just said what I meant.
Man: No you didn't really explain what you mean, though.
Me: You know, finding little things that would change our relationship...doing something each day.
Man: That seems taxing!
Me: Working on our relationship is work?
Man: Yeah, I wouldn't know what to do. That's 365 days, you know.
Me: There are calendars out there that will tell you things to do that are romantic! Buy one.
Man: Yeah, but most of them are dorky.
Me: I just thought it would be fun to work on us!
Man: It would, but you haven't said what you mean.
Me: I did say. Why is it men have a hard time hearing what women say?
Man: Because they don't say what they mean.
Me: Well, I don't know what else to tell you then. I thought I was pretty clear.
Disclaimer: Names were changed to protect the innocent (not so innocent, right women?). No men were harmed during the process of this converstation (probably because he is in Seattle). These words were not said in anger...just everday conversational talk. The conversation is also not word for word, but based on my memory of a conversation just 30 minutes prior (my memory is sharp as a tact).
Conversation with hubby:
Me: I have a New Years Resolution that I think would be fun for us, do you want to hear it?
Man: Sure
Me: I think every day we should look for new ways to reinvent our relationship?
Man: What do you mean?
Me: I just said what I meant.
Man: No you didn't really explain what you mean, though.
Me: You know, finding little things that would change our relationship...doing something each day.
Man: That seems taxing!
Me: Working on our relationship is work?
Man: Yeah, I wouldn't know what to do. That's 365 days, you know.
Me: There are calendars out there that will tell you things to do that are romantic! Buy one.
Man: Yeah, but most of them are dorky.
Me: I just thought it would be fun to work on us!
Man: It would, but you haven't said what you mean.
Me: I did say. Why is it men have a hard time hearing what women say?
Man: Because they don't say what they mean.
Me: Well, I don't know what else to tell you then. I thought I was pretty clear.
Disclaimer: Names were changed to protect the innocent (not so innocent, right women?). No men were harmed during the process of this converstation (probably because he is in Seattle). These words were not said in anger...just everday conversational talk. The conversation is also not word for word, but based on my memory of a conversation just 30 minutes prior (my memory is sharp as a tact).
Comments
-I am not sure I have a good handle on your specific definition of reinvent;but had I said something like this to Jamie-here is what I would have meant....
"I want to do new and different things within the relationship,to add some excitement to what sometimes becomes blah(What specifically that is, can only be determined by what is typical within your relationship and do something atypical.)"I want to discover new things about you that I may have overlooked previously and vice versa."
Does that make sense....sometimes I dont-you have to live a day in the life of my head.
Just a sidenote-I believe a relationship is tangible........;)
Maybe I'm more simple minded than you. I doubt I'd ever say something like that to Mike. I also ask that he not send flowers. Just live. If there's a problem, fix it. If there's not, be happy and don't ask for more. If more comes, be thankful.
By reinventing...the best definition per say, is when I heard about what Faith Hill's view of closeness is "Everyday I do something for him that is unexpected. Something that helps me to know him better and vice versa."
Some prime examples I plan to do immediately when I see him....
1. Give him a big smooch at the airport (Mark is slightly against PDA). I want him to know how much I've missed him.
2. Began reading his Master's Thesis.
3. Enjoy reading one of his novels...so I can better understand what he talks about.
4. This one is a surprise and I will be accomplishing this tomarrow.
Thanks for all the inputs, minus one! I enjoyed them. It was fun listening to your opinions and even gave me extra ideas how to reivent this already happy relationship :)
I'm quite surprised you feel that you need confirmation from me about "the truth," because Ang certainly has the reputation for giving it...and contrary to popular opinion, we do talk to each other outside of our blogs, so I hope you'll understand that if I seemed a bit petulant in my first response, it was a calculated attempt at "role playing" the expected response. I suppose it worked a bit too well, huh?
Besides, Ang and I are WAY beyond arguing over "male/female" issues, and I believe that all the commentors (excepting Davicus) understood that Ang's post was NOT an attempt to start WWIII. I actually thought the post was playful, and Ang, of course, would NEVER begin posting a real relational issue on the internet - anything such as that would be kept privately between us, as it should be.
I'm guessing the male/female language thing must be a pretty touchy subject with Davicus? Anyway, he unloaded unecessarily hard about it. I hope he didn't give himself a hernia. As for me, I'm confident that I'll get Ang's meaning about "reinvention" in short order. I was mostly curious to read what other people thought...I guess I've done that here.
So, take a few deep, reassuring breaths and repeat the calming phrase "all's well, all's well."
Peace.
In this case, I truly believe that you were able to grow/reinvent your relationships with others instead of Mark. I will be curious to see how these 'new' relationships grow. Great move Angela!